Typography by Lance Florentino

Ring.

It was the first day of my freshman year and I just made it into my first class at De La Salle – College of Saint Benilde. “Must give good first impression,” I thought; my little “mission impossible”. What happened? I sat there jotting down every word, and talking to seatmates just as awkward as I was.

That day turned into a continuous struggle for the year that remained. And the longer it went, the more difficult it was to do—this is the point in college where the typical Benildean would either be only too eager to learn, or too lax to give a damn about anything.

But during one of my first lunches in the cafeteria with my blockmates—seemed like “mission impossible” didn’t go haywire, too much—I met a friend who queerly always thinks about the future…

“Uy guys, hirap daw ng thesis ng course natin.”

“Wala ‘yan! First year pa tayo. Chill muna.”

In my head, I agreed to the consoling response given by another. At the back of mind though, I felt a few raps of pressure.

————–

Riing riing.

Now sophomore year it was! And I was going to be late for my first class. That’s not good; I didn’t know anyone from that class. I didn’t get a slot for advance encoding at any way possible while my other friends did. Good thing there were only a few “GenEd” subjects.

Oh no, elevator traffic. Worried that I might be absent for that class, I did the unthinkable for the weak: I took the stairs. I ran to the 9th floor, to A905, to my CATHWOR class, to a classroom with students leaving because there was no prof.

Free cut na pala.

I summoned some friends for lunch at the cafeteria. Minutes later, I received replies to eat outside because they were sick of Pao Tsin, and food at Mildred’s was too expensive for our “pa-rich” pockets. We decided on Mannangs because chicken there is superb, and we all wanted to be far from school.

Remember my friend who never stops thinking about the future? He is still my friend. What’s worse? He has a friend who’s just like him.

“Have you guys thought about your thesis?”

“Yeah, I want something Economics-related. Eco: my favorite subject.”

“Mine’s about Psychology; just something where I’ll be talking about the Theory of Evolution. How about you?”

…

“Something on nature because that’s going to be super relevant and cool?”

They both laughed.

That night, I never lacked so much sleep. I lied on my bed, thinking—just thinking.

Thesis. Thesis. Thesis.

Taking out my laptop, I searched for decent topics.

Never mind.

I checked my book shelf. I ended up reading a chapter of Twilight.

Disturbed by the thought that my lack of care for my future might—just might—destroy any prospect for one, I thought: “What have I been doing with my life?” My eyes shifted to my PS3, to an open game of CoD, to my Fall Out Boy poster close to being a permanent wallpaper, then to Tumblr.

I found the answer.

————–

Riiing riiing riiing.

“Saan ka na?”

A “text message of the day” award to my friend who never stops thinking about the future. It was the first day of my junior year, and was I going to be absent on my first class? No, majors na eh. One more thing I have to worry about was how I went to sleep a sophomore and woke up being a junior.

Standing outside of my 2DANIM class, I watched my prof discuss vaguely through a pane of glass. I wasn’t too excited to sit my sweaty self down, considering that I just took the stairs because elevator traffic will forever haunt me.

“Oh, pasok ka na. Halos absent ka na, ah.”

Inside, I found a good friend to sit next to. She was stuck playing Candy Crush on her iPad, which made me listen more attentively to my professor as he continued to introduce himself and the course syllabus.

“… baka pwede niyo ng pang-thesis o ganoon…”

Like a right hook, the word “thesis” hit hard. Not sure if I should be more pressured than I already was with sweat trickling beside my eyes. But the fact that my friend who never stops thinking about the future was sitting next to me, along with his other friend who’s like him, did not help.

“Nakakakaba, ‘di ba? Ayoko pa naman sa 2D.“

“Ako, ayos lang. Kaya pa naman, pero thesis eh. Sobrang ugh lang.”

They spent the next few minutes whispering about their theses in depth, as I sat next to them resisting the urge to gouge my eyes out. “I didn’t want it, but I had to go through it. This was probably for the best,” I tried to comfort myself.

As I reached my room at home, I drafted a list of potential thesis topics.

—————-

Riiiing riiiing riiiing riiiing.

Oh.

I stormed my room for my best business clothes, while grabbing all the papers and the hard drive I needed for the day. Thankfully, I managed to practice a speech in the shower, and put on makeup because I looked more like a zombie than usual.

“Thesis it.”

As I walked down the halls, everything felt as if it were all in slow nerve-wracking motion. My friend who never stops thinking about the future approaches and says…

“Wala na, eh. Ito na, eh. Patayan na.”